Grief & Bereavement

• Uncomplicated Grief

  • Uncomplicated grief, also known as normal or adaptive grief, is a natural and expected response to loss that gradually lessens in intensity over time. While it may involve deep sadness, yearning, or moments of emotional distress, individuals experiencing uncomplicated grief are typically able to maintain functioning in their daily lives and eventually integrate the loss into their life narrative. In therapy, processing uncomplicated grief often involves creating a safe, compassionate space for clients to express their emotions, recall memories of the deceased, and explore the personal meaning of the loss. Therapists may support clients in identifying coping resources, maintaining rituals of remembrance, and gradually rebuilding a sense of purpose and connection. The goal is not to "move on" or forget the loss, but to help the individual find a way to carry the loss with them while continuing to engage meaningfully with life.

• Complicated Grief

  • Complicated grief, also known as prolonged grief disorder, occurs when the natural healing process after a loss becomes stalled or disrupted, leading to persistent and intense emotional pain that interferes with daily functioning. Individuals may experience overwhelming yearning, difficulty accepting the death, a sense of meaninglessness, or persistent feelings of guilt, anger, or numbness that do not subside over time. In therapy, processing complicated grief often involves helping clients identify and work through stuck points, such as unresolved trauma, unfinished business with the deceased, or maladaptive beliefs about the loss or themselves. Therapists may use approaches that are similar to trauma processing that assist with meaning reconstruction, identifying purpose, and developing continued bonds to work on changing the relationship to adapt to the new circumstances. EMDR and IFS parts work can be helpful here, as well as somatic therapy to understand how grief is showing up in the body. The therapeutic goal is to help the client re-engage with life while honoring the significance of the loss, allowing for a renewed sense of identity, purpose, and emotional connection.

• The relationship between complicated grief and (C)PTSD

  • Prolonged Grief Disorder (PGD) and Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) or Complex Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (CPTSD) share several core similarities, particularly in how they involve a disruption of emotional processing following a distressing event. Both conditions can feature intrusive thoughts, avoidance behaviors, emotional numbness, and a persistent sense of threat or unreality. In PGD, the “threat” is often the overwhelming sense of absence and attachment disruption, while in PTSD it centers around perceived danger and trauma-related fear, or isolation, lack of self-concept clarity, and interpersonal distress. Both disorders can impair functioning, distort the individual's sense of self or world, and become chronic if unresolved. Neurobiologically, both conditions involve dysregulation in brain regions related to emotion, memory, and threat detection, such as the amygdala and prefrontal cortex. In therapy, approaches used for PTSD—such as EMDR, somatic therapy, and IFS parts work—are often adapted for PGD, highlighting the shared need for safe emotional processing, narrative integration, and a restoration of a coherent sense of meaning and identity.

• How can grief manifest in the face of spiritual practice?

  • Spiritual practice, while often a source of comfort and growth, can also cause grief for various reasons. Here are some ways in which spiritual practice might lead to feelings of grief:

    • Loss of Previous Beliefs: Engaging in deep spiritual exploration may lead individuals to question and let go of previously held beliefs. This process of shedding old beliefs can be accompanied by a sense of loss or grief as individuals navigate a new understanding of themselves and the world.

    • Grief over Past Actions: As individuals delve into self-reflection and spiritual growth, they may confront past actions or behaviors that bring feelings of remorse or regret. This process of acknowledging and processing past mistakes can lead to feelings of grief and sorrow.

    • Letting Go of Attachments: Spiritual practice often emphasizes the importance of letting go of attachments and desires. This process of detachment can bring about feelings of grief as individuals release their grasp on things they once held dear.

    • Facing Existential Questions: Spiritual practice may prompt individuals to confront existential questions about life, death, and the nature of reality. Contemplating these profound topics can evoke feelings of existential grief or sadness.

    • Grief over Loss of Identity: Spiritual practice can lead to shifts in one's sense of self and identity. Letting go of old self-concepts or ego attachments can be challenging and may be accompanied by feelings of grief.

    • Challenges in Spiritual Growth: Engaging in spiritual practice can be a transformative journey, but it is not without difficulties. The challenges and obstacles encountered along the path can lead to feelings of frustration and grief.

    • Facing Painful Emotions: Spiritual practice encourages individuals to be present with their emotions, including painful ones. This process of facing and processing suppressed emotions can evoke feelings of grief.

    • Grief over Spiritual Disillusionment: Sometimes, individuals may experience disillusionment or disappointment with their spiritual path or with spiritual teachers. This can lead to a sense of grief over lost expectations.

    • Awareness of Human Suffering: As individuals deepen their spiritual awareness, they may become more attuned to the suffering in the world. This heightened sensitivity to human suffering can evoke feelings of grief and compassion.

    • Loneliness on the Path: Engaging in spiritual practice can sometimes lead to feelings of isolation, especially if one's spiritual journey is not fully understood or supported by others.

    • Grief for Grief’s Sake: Experiences in an individual’s life may also prompt grief that may affect spiritual practice. The loss of someone close, such as a mentor, teacher, partner, parent, or child may prompt intense grief and may affect the individual on many levels. Grief can be a powerfully transformative tool — particularly in understanding attachment and surrender, symbolic expression, gratitude and acceptance, and in deeper spiritual transformation. However, it can also cause a lot of other issues such as questioning beliefs, loss of faith, anger or resentment toward one’s chosen higher power, feelings of abandonment, or loss of interest in spiritual practice.